Emotional Maturity

August 26th, 2013   •   Comments Off on Emotional Maturity   

Emotional maturity doesn’t happen naturally. Considering that children often have more self-control than parents, it doesn’t appear to be a function of age.

Emotional reactions and self-control are not mutually exclusive. We can be quite angry or hurt, and we don’t have to blow up or run away. “I know I’m acting childishly, but I don’t care. It’s how I feel.”

It takes intentional work at self-awareness to grow up emotionally. The longer we practice self-indulgence, the more we believe, “It’s just who I am. I can’t help it.”

We are NOT what we feel. If I feel weak or trapped, superior or inferior, it means I feel that way. I can find evidence that supports it or denies it; I can feed feelings or starve them.

Emotions come quickly and can hit us hard: sadness, worry, anger, anxiety, jealousy, fear, frustration. Trying to make them go away can actually make them last longer. Ignoring, denying, or judging them isn’t effective either.

Accepting them, letting them exist, can be uncomfortable but effective to help emotions dissipate.

Emotional reactions and self-control are possible. You can have both. It’s emotional maturity.